I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
