that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
