So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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