You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
