If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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