We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
