There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
