so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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