I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
