Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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