my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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