Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
