do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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