We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
