You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
