I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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