Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
