Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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