ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
