that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
