Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
