I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
