I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
