True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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