So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You smell like stripper and shame
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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