youre lurking in front of me
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
