I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
