I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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