I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize