I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm so fucking centered right now
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
