Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize