every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
