She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
