Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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