she told me i tasted like america
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My feet surprised me
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
