im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
