I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
