That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize