once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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