So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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