I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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