so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
