worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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