Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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