ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Randomize
