wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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