ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
