Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
