Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Randomize
