Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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