i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
