I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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