can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
