we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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