It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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