Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
