found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize