everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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