im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
