I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
