Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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