Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
