So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
